If you’re trying to overcome obesity, than keeping yourself motivated during the tough times can be difficult. Which is why, in this article, I’m going to show you how to keep yourself motivated. In particular, I’m going to explain why motivation is important, how to track your progress, and why you need to set small achievable goals. By the time you’ve finished reading this guide, you’ll know several ways to keep yourself motivated, and ultimately achieve the body you desire.
So let’s begin by talking about self discipline. Why is it so important? Why is it the key to being successful with your weight loss goal? (or any goal, in fact). The reason why is that anything worth doing usually comes with a price. It’s like you have to prove that you want something badly enough, by paying the price of self discipline to make yourself do what needs to be done even when you don’t feel like doing it.
Overcoming Obesity: TollieSchmidt.com
You may not feel like exercising. You may not feel like eating healthier foods. You may not feel like you have the motivation to do what needs to be done. But you will do it anyway, regardless of how you’re feeling. And having that self discipline will mean you can stay on track with your weight loss goals, regardless of whether you’re feeling motivated at that particular time.
Tracking your progress is another important way to reward and motivate yourself for sticking with it. You may have heard this all before – but tracking your progress will make a huge difference in your ability to overcome obesity. Don’t judge your progress by the scales alone. Use a tape measure to track the size reduction of your arms, legs, waist, and any other areas. You may see results here before you see them anywhere else, and those early successes will mean a lot.
Finally, let’s talk about setting achievable goals. Setting smaller, gradual goals will give you plenty of reward and encouragement. Remember, you can’t lose 100 pounds overnight, or even in one month. If your only goal is the huge one at the end, it can feel depressing being so far away from it. You may feel it’s so far away, that you don’t even bother to move towards it. Small, achievable, gradual goals will give you a greater feeling of progress, and ultimately, more motivation to continue.
I received an email from a woman the other day who has two overweight boys who are about to hit puberty. She is obese and wants the three of them to find a way to beat this now before the boys get much older. Having been an obese teen myself, I know the horrors and humiliation a young child feels when they do not fit into the current styles, cannot keep up with the other kids physically, and are the brunt of fat jokes. It is not a fun place to be.
My parents did not know how to help me and I did not know how to ask for help. I wish I had because maybe I would have found ways to break my bad food habits way back then instead of waiting until my late forties.
Helping someone deal with something you have never experienced yourself is hard, or even if you have experienced it, your reaction may not be the best. My father had been chubby around thirteen and was teased for it. He felt the best way to help me was to humiliate me constantly. I guess he felt, better him than someone else. Needless to say that backfired.
As I work with obese adults I hear similar stories of how their parents perpetuated or even caused their obesity. Here are a few of the reasons they give.
Mother had major eating issues she transferred to me This is common. A mother who is obsessive about her own weight, and I am talking mothers who only have ten to thirty pounds to lose, transfer that food obsession onto their children. Examples of this would be putting their daughters on strict diets when they are young and still just have that pouchy baby fat. Mothers who obsess over weight very often transfer that to their children, especially to their daughters. They want there girls to have perfect little bodies or rationalize dieting will keep their girls from every having to live through that extra ten pounds they feel keeps them from being perfect. This tends to backfire and causes many eating disorders. Children rebel and in that rebellion their relationship to food becomes skewed. Don’t make your children afraid of food, instead give them healthy abundant choices and understand that when they go out with their friends, if it is a pizza party, they want to fit in and eat the pizza too.
Parent in an attempt to help the chubby child singled her out for special diets. Many clients have told me that in an attempt to help them when they were young, their parent had them on strict diets as early as ten years old. Come the holiday when siblings got to eat lots of goodies, theirs came sugar free. No ten year old wants sugar free chocolate. Not only does it taste nasty, it singles the child out making her feel less than. This behavior by parents is done out of love, but it usually backfires because the moment the child is of age to buy her own goodies, she will take on binging behaviors. Instead of learning to enjoy one or two chocolates, she has learned that to get to eat the good stuff she must do it in private to not get caught. That fear of getting caught will causes her to eat fast and excessively as she is afraid she will not get to do it again soon enough. This type of behavior also causes shame. Once shame and guilt are associated with food it is hard to recover to eating properly. So many adults use food to almost punish themselves. It is a love/hate relationship. And it is destructive in nature.
Parent(s) were obese and eating was a family affair. Some children can find their way past this, but others are set off on the wrong direction right from the get go. If you are obese, it is your responsibility as a parent to bring only healthy good food into your children’s lives. You sitting around eating junk food every night or making late night trips to the local KFC is teaching your child bad fat habits that they may never be able to break. No one likes being obese. If you love your children, you are going to have to start making health a family affair. There are no other options. As an obese person yourself, you have issues about your weight you have to deal with. Life is tough, but being able to put your children’s health over your own food addictions could be the best thing that happened to you. Many people can’t seem to diet for themselves, but if they thought that it would be good for their children the incentive could be stronger.
So how do you refocus your overweight child toward healthy eating and normal weight? It takes work, it takes patience, and it takes consistency. Just like anything else you want to teach a child.
Set Family Rules Don’t make these rules specific to your overweight child. That singles them out and makes them the culprit for change. Instead set them for the family. Take a good look at the eating behaviors of your family and where mindless eating takes place. – Start a no eating while watching TV rule. Or to make it more realistic to a child, no more eating or drinking in the family room. Now that means you have to abide by the rule yourself. – Enforce family dinners where everyone sits at the table and uses the time not to stuff their face, but to discuss their day and reconnect. This sounds very Ozzie and Harriet, I know, but letting your kids eat off schedule and whatever they want is setting up disastrous eating habits they will have to break as adults. Thin or heavy, children need to learn how to eat right.
Stop eating at fast food restaurants This is just a given with the obesity rate of children today. Fast food is destroying them. You as the holder of the purse, get to say when fast food happens. It cannot be every night. Do not think well, Billy is the only one with a weight problem so the rest of us can have our McD’s and he can get the apple slices. It is not fair and will only make him feel deprived. Instead start eating more at home where you control the health, fat, and caloric level of the meal.
Do not bring soda into your house Soda is not good for children. The fact that Type II Diabetes is no longer considered adult onset, should tell you this much. Each soda has at least 100 calories per 8 oz. That is a lot of sugar. Once in a while as a treat, but never in the home. Getting your children addicted to diet soda is no better. It just sets up a life-long bad habit of drinking garbage. Water is all the rage these days. If you feel you have to buy them something in a bottle, get them expensive fancy water!
Do not bring junk food into your home Save things like chips and cakes for special occasions. Stop their abuse in your home. Children who have bigger appetites and who like sugar, salts, and fats will hunt down every piece of food they can find. If you don’t have it in the house then they will have to eat the healthy food you do have. And when they do, do not yell at them for eating all your fruit, or having taken the last bit of carrots you wanted for dinner.
Learn the truth about the foods you feed your family Do you know that a serving of spaghetti is 1 cup? Do you know what a small amount of pasta that is? Did you know that if you check out the calories of bread you can see a range from 50 calories a slice to 150. Check out fresh bread made at a local health store. Many are now made without oil and the calories are much lower. What a way to shave 100 to 200 calories from you child’s lunch without them ever knowing!
Become an active family Children who are prone to obesity tend to not be overly athletic. Sports is not for everyone, but other things like riding a bike, hiking, and just shooting hoops in the evening can bring a new level of activity to a family. You don’t need expensive bikes to get out together. Sign up for a fun bike race with your kids and then as a family start preparing for it. Kids of all sizes love bikes. Hiking on the weekends to remote places is great fun. Give you children cameras, teach them how to identify animal tracks, make the outdoors a family adventure. Once a child falls in love with nature, they will be outdoors more often than not.
Get rid of all video games except for Wii Make sure to get the Dancing, Outdoor Adventure, and Fit Board accessories. This new way of interacting with video games is perfect for the lazy child. Just standing up to play rather than leaning back on the couch is a plus. Start family competitions. Everyone is good at something. You skinny daughter might rock at hula hoop, your thin son might be a fast runner, but your heavy child might just be the best boxer in the family. These games are positive reinforcement. Even when a child just competes with himself, he is building confidence that will relate to other areas in his life.
Being an overweight or obese boy or girl is a hard place. Children do not understand why they want to eat more, they just do. Don’t blame yourself for this if you have no reason to. Some kids just come with bigger appetites and have food preferences that are not healthy. When I was little, I would want second and third servings. My sister hid her food behind the refrigerator so my parents would think she had eaten. That wasn’t a learned behavior for either of us, we just had different appetites. I have had to learn to live with my bigger appetite and my inability to feel full or satisfied with most food. You child can too, but it can’t be forced on them.
Take a deep breath, forgive yourself for your child’s weight problem, and forgive the child. As a family develop good eating habits that will help your bigger child learn to eat right from the start so when she gets older she will not have to deal with obesity. Being an obese teenager can be devastating.
As you implement these changes, everyone in your family may scream at you. Let them. Good health comes from nutritious food and daily exercise. Even your thinnest child will benefit from these changes and adopt a healthy relationship to food. Remember good eating habits are lifelong. Thin people have bad eating habits as well and as adults tend to suffer the consequences.
Take action now to give your family the gift of health. Who knows it may be the best gift you ever get yourself.
Body Image is defined as the mental representation of your physical self at any given point in time. Body image refers to how you see yourself, how you feel others perceive you, and what you believe about your physical appearance. Body image is influenced more by self-esteem than by how physically attractive you are to others. It is how you feel about and in your body. Our body image is directly related to our self-esteem. The more negative our perception of our bodies, the more negative we feel about ourselves. Our beliefs about our bodies also influence our behavior, especially in relationship to others. Our ability to make healthy decisions and negotiate intimacy is highly dependent on our body image.
The Western society has created an unrealistic perception of the “perfect body.” The standards of beauty are being imposed on women. The roots, some analysts say, are economic. By presenting an ideal difficult to achieve and maintain, the cosmetic and diet product industries are assured of growth and profits. And it is no accident that youth is increasingly promoted, along with thinness, as an essential criterion of beauty.
The barrage of messages about thinness, dieting and beauty tells “ordinary” women that they are always in need of adjustment and that the female body is an object to be perfected. Women who are insecure about their bodies are more likely to buy beauty products, new clothes, and diet aids. It is estimated that the diet industry alone is worth $100 billion a year. On the other hand, research indicates that exposure to images of lingerie models, for example, are linked to depression and loss of self-esteem in women and girls.
It has been reported that women’s magazines have ten and one-half times more ads and articles promoting weight loss than men’s magazines do, and over three-quarters of the covers of women’s magazines include at least one message about how to change a woman’s bodily appearance by diet, exercise or cosmetic surgery.
Researchers generating a computer model of a woman with Barbie-doll proportions found that her back would be too weak to support the weight of her upper body, and her body would be too narrow to contain more than half a liver and a few centimeters of the intestine. The traditional Barbie is known for her 36-18-38 measurements, voluminous long blond hair and perfect features. A doll who, if she were real, would be too thin to fit all of her internal organs and is too busty to stand on her feet.
It is unfortunate that Barbie and the media’s message have not changed much over the years. The image of perfection has remained and so has the reality of the real human body and how unattainable Barbie’s figure really is. This plastic princess’ unrealistic body type – busty with a tiny waist, thin thighs and long legs – is reflective of our culture’s feminine ideal. Even though Barbie is not entirely to blame, she certainly has not helped this downward spiral we find ourselves in as women today.
The most common element surrounding all Eating Disorders is the inherent presence of a low self esteem.
Having an Eating Disorder is much more than just being on a diet. An Eating Disorder is an illness that permeates all aspects of each sufferer’s life, is caused by a variety of emotional factors and influences, and has profound effects on the people suffering and their loved ones.
Dieting is about losing a little bit of weight in a healthy way.
Eating Disorders are about trying to make your whole life better through food and eating (or lack of).
Dieting is about doing something healthy for yourself.
Eating Disorders are about seeking approval and acceptance from everyone through negative attention.
Dieting is about losing a bit of weight and doing it healthfully.
Eating Disorders are about how life won’t be good until a bit (or a lot) of weight is lost, and there’s no concern for what kind of damage you do to yourself to get there.
Dieting is about losing some weight in a healthy way so how you feel on the outside will match how good you already feel on the inside.
Eating Disorders are about being convinced that your whole self-esteem is hinged on what you weigh and how you look.
Dieting is about attempting to control your weight a bit better.
Eating Disorders are about attempting to control your life and emotions through food/lack of food — and are a huge neon sign saying “look how out of control I really feel”
Dieting is about losing some weight.
Eating Disorders are about everything going on in life — stress, coping, pain, anger, acceptance, validation, confusion, fear — cleverly (or not so cleverly) hidden behind phrases like “I’m just on a diet”.
It doesn’t matter that the road’s been rough, that you now have challenges, or that uncertainties loom on the horizon.
None of these change the fact that for every thought you think today, worlds will come tumbling into existence. For every word you speak, legions will be called into action. And for every step you take, matter will be drawn from the ether.
“Give me the facts, and nothing but the facts.” Have you heard that statement before? Of course you have. Now, how much truth is there to that statement? Honestly, not much and in life I can assure you if you can grasp this idea, you can achieve all your dreams.
So many times people give up on their dreams, because of so many numerous reasons, yet a lot of them feel they worked so hard and it just didn’t happen. We will also look to external forces to find justification or reasoning on why things did not pan out they way we felt they should. Recently, I was in a situation where things did not work out like I expected, where I thought it was a simple resolution. However, it came down to everyone’s perception of the situation. I felt like I was being asked to again defend actions from the past, quote facts, and it’s all perception.
See, when you hear people say they only want facts, or proof to find truth, then they are looking for justification for actions, or relevancy to claims made for or against. Now I was called many things and sure, it sucks, I’m not saying it doesn’t. Especially, when it’s character traits being called into reference, you want to defend yourself right? However, here is the truth. There is NO truth! Think I’m crazy? Here is what I mean, I personally had strong character and morals called into question. Of course there is always two sides to each story. I could defend myself vehemently, against these accusations, clear my name, prove it’s not true. Yet, does that mean I’m right? Not really, because to the other side it will not change their feelings. Personally, I have to look at this situation and forget about it. This is the first time I have ever had these things said about me. My daily actions contradict everything said about me. Also, it doesn’t affect me, I continue to dream and drive forward through life’s amazing journey.
No matter what I say, no matter what so-called evidence I could provide; the truth to these actions and words is that “they” believe them. So, no matter what, their “truth” will always remain the same. So honestly, what are facts, what is the truth? They are whatever you believe to be the truth. How many times have you seen a court case where the accused is found not guilty yet to the victims family, they will always be guilty. Because, even after all the facts, after the truth is shed to light, the victims truth is what ever they believe it to be. Life is all perception, it can be negative, and petty, feeling insecure and a complete “illusion”, or full of miracles, beauty, love and passion. I choose the latter.
Anything said against you only holds merit or value if you allow it. You can defend yourself, you can try and prove your situation, you can work hard and harder to get ahead and keep paddling upstream. Or, you can lay back and allow life to carry you along the way. You can feel the sun against your face laying on a raft and let the lazy river carry you through life and create dreams.
Next time you feel stuck ask yourself this question. “Why is this bothering me?” Truly sit and think why it is affecting you so much. Then ask yourself “how much does this truly affect my life?” So many times we think it’s crucial or important only because we have allowed it to affect us this way. Now, your saying “sure, but their wrong!” No they are not, because no matter any outcome their thoughts will not change. So, their truth their facts will NOT be swayed, only your perception. So, you have full control over your personal perception. You can create the situation into a beautiful story if you want to. You can create the ending where you rescued the princess, hoped onto a white stallion and rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after. As long as you believe that, then it is 100% the truth, to you, and that’s all that matters!
I know what it’s like. I’ve seen it played out a few zillion times. You’re waiting for that magical day when someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they’ll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps they’ll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself, and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence. Ahhhhhhhhhhh…
Well, I’m here to tell you, your wait is over. That someone, is you.
Good thing you rock,
In this moment, every cell of your body is receiving information. Each takes in sensations from its immediate external environment and also from its internal environment. Each cell sends that data to your brain, whose job it is to assimilate the information it receives and then direct the rest of the organism that is you to, both locally and systemically, respond.
Of the billions of sensations that are being processed in your body at any one time, you are consciously aware of about 20. The brain’s duty of assimilation is no less important than its role as a filter to make sure that you don’t experience everything at once.
Dreams & Greatness: TollieSchmidt.com
Strychnine’s (rat poison) mechanism of action is that it strips away the ability of the brain to filter out information. The affected being, experiencing every miniscule sensation in its body, becomes overloaded and dies by seizure. LSD, oddly enough, works on the same principle – it temporarily dissolves filters — though on a much more limited basis. We cannot function without these filters.
Right now, each cell of your skin, for example, is registering the pressure that its surroundings exert on it. For some it is air, for others, clothing and still others register the pressures exerted by every nearby hair follicle. Each of these cells, individually, go unnoticed until enough of them experience enough pressure that you, the being who is composed of these cells, suddenly becomes aware of it. The sensation essentially bursts through your other filters.
Do this now. Close your eyes and pick an area on your arm to focus on. Now, allow your awareness to take in every sensation that is there. You may feel movement of arm hairs, the gentle touch of a breeze, or even a “curiosity” about, “Is that an itch I feel?” as you zero in on a particular area. This point is you can make a choice to have that area of your experience be the localization (focal point) of your consciousness. What you are doing is filtering out most of the other sensations you may be experiencing in favor of that experienced by one area of your body.
There are filters of sensation and filters of perception as well. Have you ever spent time with someone and had a hard time being with them because they reminded you so much of, for example, an abusive other? Perhaps you had trouble “seeing” that person for who they were. You were actually experiencing that person through the filter of your past experience.
Once you recognize that your interpretation is based on something that was, rather than something that is, you are able to remove those filters and concentrate on the moment in front of you, without the distortion of past associations.
At any one time, we do have a significant amount of choice in where we localize our consciousness through the filters we use or remove. Of course, “where our consciousness is located” is a metaphor. But still, it rings true that, in the instance of a bee for example, when that bugger sticks that stinger into your skin, for all you know your consciousness IS right in that patch of skin. Every bit of it! And until you realize that the person in front of you is not that abusive other, you will tend to react protectively.
The point I wish to make is that consciousness, and how you apply it, is a muscle that you can strengthen and train with practice.
In the case of working with heart-consciousness, it’s a matter of choosing to filter your experience through the awareness of your heart. When you place your consciousness on a patch of skin, you are able to receive whatever information those accumulated cells are available to relay to you. When you filter your consciousness through your heart, you are able to receive whatever information is available through it.
Although not proven empirically, researchers are working with the theory that the brain deals more with matter (particles) while the heart deals more with energy (waves). The brain takes in data through the passage of information (chemicals) across the synapses while the heart absorbs and assimilates vibration or frequency.
Working with brainpower most often involves “working through” a sequence of events to come to an end point. Let’s take a problem like “What does three times three plus two equal?” In calculating the answer, if you mess up any of the parts, like multiplying 3 by 2 and adding 3 instead, your answer is wrong. With the heart, it appears vibrations recognize vibrations, and immediately – without any form of sequential analysis that we can identify, recognizes 3X3+2is11.
Shifting your consciousness to move through the filter of your heart – which is a simple act of will once you get enough practice — (perhaps literally) “tunes you in” to what the heart understands.
Our hearts are assimilating and interpreting vibration and frequency this very moment. What we’ve forgotten is how to respond to and act on that information. In essence, we over-exercised our brains and now they are the dominant muscles of our perception. We can strengthen our ability to use the consciousness of our hearts as well.
Next installment will have some exercises for you to try out.
For many teens there seems to be no escape from the constant barrage of skeletal stars and buff jocks seen in the media. Not to mention the sometimes impossible media images of perfection that can’t realistically be attained by the average teenager. So what is a parent or responsible adult to do in order to help teens navigate the maze of misinformation and sometimes distorted images. Although boys experience this angst to some degree as well, it appears teenage girls are disproportionately affected by the ever elusive perfect body.
A study of nearly 50,000 teenage girls revealed that a majority listed appearance as their biggest concern (Exeter University, U.K., 1998). Another study (Fat Talk, Harvard University Press, 2000) found that 86% of teenage girls are, or think they should be dieting. This is not shocking since 45% of American women are on a diet on any given day (Smolak, 1996). Therefore, it is imperative that mothers give there daughters a healthy view of their bodies by modeling self-acceptance themselves.
Teen Weight Loss Without The Airbrush
Teenagers sometimes face inordinate amounts of pressure. Aside from pleasing their parents, they must contend with peer pressure at school. These pressures can lead to an unhealthy view of themselves. If the majority of their friends are a size zero, the pressure to fit in and not stand out can be overwhelming. Parents should try to counteract these pressures by being willing to listen and not judge; and provide healthy realistic images and opinions to balance what is seen in the media. The old standby — communication — can do wonders for a teenager’s self image.
Teaching teens to be healthy and not just thin is also important. The media has a way of portraying individuals as perfect. What they don’t show is the sometimes unhealthy way, or unrealistic (for the average teen) work that goes into getting those bodies. Educating teens on healthy food choices and exercise will keep them healthy now and into their adult years. Emphasize there is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, if it’s necessary, but it must be done in a safe way. A way that will keep their physical and mental well being intact.
Take time to discuss why they feel they should lose weight. Get to the heart of the matter. Make sure to reassure them they are fine the way they are. Don’t discount their feelings. If they indeed need to shed a few pounds, offer to assist them in finding appropriate resources. Make it a family affair. Make sure they understand they are embarking on a lifelong commitment and not just a temporary fix. The focus should be on becoming healthy and fit for life. Most important, be there for them when they need it.
The bottom line is there is no magic formula for getting teens to develop a healthy self image and healthy attitude toward food. It all boils down to listening and then acting. Teach them to look in the mirror and make positive statements about themselves. Above all, let them know you love them no matter what size they are.
Since the 1990’s, the percentage of teenage plastic surgery has increased consistently. Most of these consist of cosmetic nose surgery, breast lift surgery and cosmetic ear surgery.
Not every teen seeking cosmetic surgery is suited for the operation. Emotional maturity and a clear understanding of what the procedure can and cannot do for them is important. This will help in avoiding future dissatisfaction. Bone structure begins to mature until age 18 and teens must finish growing and maturing before even considering cosmetic surgery.
Teen Plastic Surgery Illusion: TollieSchmidt.com
Pressure from friends play a significant role in the teenage years. Everyone wants to fit in but getting your nose done because your best friend had one is not a good reason to have the procedure.
Parents should fully understand what the young adult is seeking and why. There are three factors that need to be discussed when discussing cosmetic surgery for teens. These topics can help evaluate how healthy a teen’s concern truly is:
• The teen requests the procedure. Parental support is essential but the teen’s clear and complete reason for wanting a cosmetic procedure must be clearly expressed.
• The goals are realistic. The teen must have a clear understanding of what and what not a cosmetic surgery can do for her/him. Unrealistic expectations must be avoided. Cosmetic surgery costs must also be explained to the teen.
• The teen must be emotionally matured. Teens who are prone to mood swings, have erratic behavior or are abusing drugs and alcohol are not good candidates for any cosmetic procedure. Pain, healing and temporary disfigurement is involved and the teen must be able to accept and deal with them.
One of the main concerns of young adults is acne. However, cosmetic surgery is not the immediate answer. Modern prescription drugs under the supervision of a qualified medical practitioner most often do the job. Dermatologists can also offer solutions without the need to undergo surgery.
If after all the deliberations the decision is to go ahead with the surgery. The teen and both parents must look for the best cosmetic surgeon fit for the job and with experience with young adult patients.
When a teenager has an eating disorder, it’s not just the teen’s problem. It’s a family problem.
So, parents should join in on the treatment, a growing number of experts believe.
With parental involvement, “the outcome is likely to be improved,” said Dr. Ovidio Bermudez, medical director of the eating disorders program at Laureate Psychiatric Clinic and Hospital in Tulsa, Okla., and a member of the board of directors of the National Eating Disorders Association.
Teen Eating Disorder Illusion: TollieSchmidt.jpg
Nearly 10 million females and 1 million males in the United States have an eating disorder, according to the National Eating Disorders Association. Federal government statistics show that more than 90 percent of them are females aged 12 to 25.
People with bulimia binge eat and then purge, whereas those with anorexia nervosa limit food and become dangerously thin because they believe they’re too heavy when, in fact, they’re not.
But the thinking about the causes of eating disorders and their treatment has come full circle, Bermudez said. Many years ago, experts blamed eating disorders on controlling mothers and distant fathers, among other theories. But today they generally concur that the disorders are not due to those factors.
“We know now that eating disorders are real illnesses, not lifestyle choices,” Bermudez said. And parents can play a crucial role in recovery, Bermudez and others now believe.
In fact, researchers found that teens were more able to control their disordered eating when they had family support.
One study involving 80 teens with bulimia put about half in a treatment program that included family therapy and the others in more traditional psychotherapy. Six months later, the success rate for those given family therapy was twice as great as it was for the others.
About 40 percent of teens whose families participated in their treatment had stopped bingeing and purging, compared with 18 percent of those treated without family involvement. The study was published in the Archives of General Psychiatry.
Another study, published in the journal Eating Disorders, followed 32 teenage girls with anorexia and found that 75 percent of them were in full remission three years after treatment that had included family therapy.
Just what does the treatment, generally known as behavioral family therapy, involve?
“The therapist works with the family to empower the family to get the [anorectic] child to eat the meals and recover the weight,” Bermudez said. “The family becomes the agent of change.”
He said that the approach has been studied more in anorexia than in bulimia but that it is used for both.
In bulimia, the parents’ role at home would be to get their teen to eat regular meals so the teen doesn’t binge then purge, Bermudez said.
It doesn’t always work, he said, but it is generally viewed as promising and effective.
The approach did work for the daughter of Deborah, a 50-something mother in Orlando, Fla. She and her husband were stunned when their daughter, Allison, now 25, told them she needed help. “She had lost a lot of weight,” Deborah recalled.
They sought help and participated in a family-centered treatment approach. “I was in the counseling session with Allison and the therapist,” Deborah recalled. It helped her understand the disorder, she said, and how better to help.
But Deborah did much more than sit in the counseling sessions. “We built a team around Allison,” she said. Besides the therapist, the team included the family doctor, a nutritionist, Allison and her parents.
Parents can take other steps to help a teen recover from an eating disorder. Suggestions include:
Educate yourself. “I would sit up at night and read,” Deborah said, “so I could understand Allison and what she was experiencing.”
Be there emotionally. For her daughter, Deborah recalled, knowing that she could count on her parents’ aid and support helped a great deal.
Don’t be in denial. If you suspected your child had cancer, Bermudez asked, wouldn’t you get help immediately? It’s just as crucial for a suspected eating disorder.
Follow directions.”Listen to your treatment team,” Bermudez tells parents. The best treatment plans are individualized.
Allison’s family-centered treatment, begun at the start of her senior year in high school, was successful. In college, she began to speak on the topic and now heads up the junior board of directors for the National Eating Disorders Association.
The National Eating Disorders Association has more for parents of teens with eating disorders.Teens With Eating Disorders Benefit From Parents’ Help
An article in yesterday’s Sun Herald highlighted the need to raise awareness of the devastating consequences of anorexia after the tragic death of 19 year old Jessica Macmillan.
Jessica had been battling anorexia nervosa for seven years and took her own life on 13 July. Her family have organized a walkathon to raise money and awareness for the Butterfly Foundation, an organization that actively helps and supports families and individuals suffering from eating disorders.
"Know Hope" TollieSchmidt.com
Jessica’s death is proof that there is so much more that needs to be done to give hope to those struggling with eating issues and help them feel less alone.
Several of the young people I interviewed for my book ‘Why Can’t I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues’ struggled with suicidal thoughts and spoke of the hopelessness and desperation they felt. One said “I thought that by ending my life, I’d finally find peace and I’d never have to feel like this again”. Another girl wrote to me in an email “I’m so tired of the struggle and feel as though I’ve lost hope. Please help me because I want so much to get better”. I dedicated a chapter to answering this question because it means everything to have hope. As Christopher Reeve famously said “once you choose hope, anything is possible”.
‘Walk for Jess’ will be at Parramatta Park on Saturday from 10.30am.
The effect media has on teenagers’ body image is immeasurable. Each year thousands of teenagers use diet and exercise to conform to an image that has been created by the media. For many teens, becoming a model is the ultimate goal. Being worshiped for beauty is more important than scholarship or being true to oneself.
Body Image
No one in high school can deny that how you look has much to do with your popularity status. While parents often reject that looks matter, their teen children know the score. No one wants to be known as the teen that has a great personality, as those are often the keywords to describe someone who is unattractive.
How did the media gain such control over our lives? Perhaps it began during Hollywood’s glamour years when the public yearned to look as beautiful as the pin up girls and as handsome as the leading men on the silver screen. Today, the magazines that line the shelves of our book and retail stores speak to our infatuation of looking like Hollywood actors and actresses. Maxim, Interview, Elle and Cosmopolitan all feature young and beautiful people from the big screen. It is no wonder that teens who consume these magazines try to strive for this type of fleeting beauty. They believe that the key to success is looking beautiful on the outside.
The Anorexic Model: TollieSchmidt.com
Diet or Die Trying
Jennifer Love-Hewitt was panned for her revealing pictures in a bathing suit while on vacation with her fiancé. Ms. Love-Hewitt is a size 2, which many would agree is rather small. Yet the public’s fascination with everything perfect and Barbie-like has clouded our judgment. Instead of applauding someone who feels comfortable enough with their body to wear a bikini, we skewer them for not meeting our perceptions of a perfect body. To her credit, Jennifer defended her body and the right to wear a bikini on her website. She also encouraged every woman to defend their right to wear what they wish proudly and without fear of other people’s opinions.
If only it were that easy for the majority of teenagers who feel they don’t live up to Hollywood’s standards.
Bulemia and Anorexia
Bulemia and anorexia are two diseases that have plagued young people for decades. Each year thousands of impressionable teens, both girls and boys, fall victim to these eating disorders, and many die from them. In some people, the desire to have the perfect body is so strong that they are willing to trade their health in exchange for fitting into size zero jeans. Many teens are unaware of the long-term health issues caused by these diseases. Tooth and hair loss, cancer of the stomach and esophagus, heart problems and even death can result.
Fad Dieting
Fad diets are problematic for teens that are still growing. Dieting without medical supervision can result in stunted growth and a compromised immune system that is unable to fight off minor illnesses. A fad diet is one that promises great weight loss results quickly. The problem with fad diets is that they rarely incorporate good nutrition and almost guarantee that once you quit the diet, the weight that you lost will quickly return.
The Effects Media has on Teenagers Body Image
Today, the effect media has on teenagers’ body image is mostly negative. The constant parade of beautiful people on television and in print has fostered negative body images for teens. Unless we look like those actors and actresses we admire, we just aren’t living up to society’s standards. What can teens do?
If you are a teen and are struggling with your own body image, take heart. The modeling industry has even begun to wake up to the fact that waif thin models are usually ill. This past year, runway models had to meet certain weight standards in order to be allowed to model in European fashion shows. More actresses are looking like real people do (fact: the average woman in the United States is a size 16), such as America Ferrera and Drew Barrymore.
Parents can help their teens combat negative body images by acknowledging models and actors or actresses are not the standard by which we measure our children. Fad diets are unhealthy and proper nutrition is more important than weight loss. If parents encourage and accept teens for the way they look right now, it can go a long way in creating a positive self-image that will last a lifetime..
Well, I guess it was 11 years ago I started to notice something was not right with Amy. She had just turned 13 when I caught her always looking at herself in the mirror. She would ask me if I thought she put on weight. I told her of course not, she always looked just right for her age.
You know, I never even thought anything was wrong I took it as just being a teenage thing and really thought no more about it. I remember myself in those teenage years worrying about my looks and going on diets and silly stuff like that, it was what a lot of my friends did too.
I didn’t even pickup on the fact that Amy would just play with her food at the dinner table and just shift it around her plate, eating very little. Of course I would say to her about not eating her food, but she would say she had a lot to eat at school, or at a friends place or some other excuse and I would fall for it.
“The Illusion” Anorexia-Trapped in a Tunnel of Darkness: TollieSchmidt.com
Now in hindsight I feel really guilty as a mom for not being more aware of things at that time and I go through the “if only I had noticed back then I maybe could have done something”, but I didn’t and the 10 years of living hell was about to begin.
Amy had always been a beautiful intelligent girl, always thinking of other people, always nice and kind. When she was 8 she would always do things for her grandmother (who had come to live with us) she always asked if she needed help cleaning or if she could do anything for her. She always volunteered to take Grans’ dinner to her and bring back the dirty dishes; nothing was too much for her.
Amy was 12 when her grandmother passed away. We thought she would be really upset but she seemed to handle it probably better that any one, even her younger brother Ben seemed more upset. We put it down to the fact that Gran had been sick for over 6 months and we had explained to her that we thought Gran would not live that much longer. Even at the funeral Amy did not cry but seemed to be in full control, but again I was too upset at losing my Mom, that I did not really pay attention.
My God! What an idiot I was back then how could I miss all the little signals that Amy was sending me? Why didn’t I see the warning signs, how could I have been so stupid? They were all there to be seen but I didn’t notice a thing.
I think what really sent Amy on the trip that nearly cost her life was what to her, became a major disappointment when she was 13. Amy just loved to dance and she was good at it and she had a real passion for dancing. She always said the she wanted to be a dancer when she grew up and if any dancing came on TV she would not miss it. Even if there was a family outing or a birthday party, if dancing was on TV she would refuse to go, until the show had ended.
I have to tell you at this point that Amy was not a typical little 13 years old. She was quite developed for her age with breasts and more of a mature shapes to her body, more like a 16 year old that a 13 year old. Most of her friends were still waiting to develop breasts and were still the thin little girls with no shape. I didn’t know it then but Amy was teased about her body by some of the girls at school, who would call her fat and tell her she had a big bottom. Of course this was not true, Amy was just more developed but to her she was starting to think she was really fat.
It was the 18 November 1996 that I believe was the catalyst for the 10 years of hell we were about to face. Amy had been practicing for months to get into the school dance troop. It was the auditions for the Christmas extravaganza and Amy wanted so badly to get the lead dance role. Two days before the auditions she got ill and by the time her dance trials came she was not in good health. She failed to get the lead role; in fact she danced so badly she did not even make the team. When she was leaving the stage I heard one of the girls who was successful say, I told you you’re too fat.
Amy was inconsolable she screamed and yelled and cried and cried. I tried to consol her by saying there is always next year, it was not your fault you were sick, but nothing could make her stop being upset. All she kept saying was she had tried so hard why was I not picked. Mom I wanted to be in the show why did I not get in, I am too fat, they didn’t pick me because I am too fat.
Amy just sobbed and sobbed all night in her room there was nothing I could do, absolutely nothing. I remember saying to my husband John that she will cry herself out and in a couple of days she would be that lovable girl we knew: how wrong this statement turned out to be.
I have heard Anorexia described by another sufferer as being like getting on an escalator that you can’t get off. It just keeps going and you don’t even know how you got on in the first place, all you know is the floor has changed. You think you are in control at first but then it takes control of you and there is nothing you can do about it. This is basically what happened to Amy, I believe she got on the escalator the night of the auditions looking for something she could control, but only found the devil.
Over the next 12 months Amy seemed to be doing well, at school her grades were up and she was near the top of her class. But she had completely given up her dancing, saying to us that she wanted to concentrate on her school work. Amy had always liked going to school even when she was little, in fact she couldn’t wait to get back to school during the term breaks, looking forward to the new school year. So when she told us she wanted to do better at school we simply believed her, after all her grades reflected all the effort she was putting in. We didn’t realize that what was really happening was she was withdrawing further and further into herself.
She wasn’t eating much and soon started to look thin and scrawny. I never noticed her weight loss as it was winter and she wore bulky clothing that covered her up. It was only well into spring when she started to wear thinner clothes that I really saw the extent of the problem.
I started to worry about this but when I would approach her she would tell me she was just on a diet and don’t bother her. It was at this time the alarm bells started to go off in my head; she was starting to look really emancipated. To me she looked like one of those photos you see of people in the concentration camps, all skin and bone, her hair was lank without luster or life. My God I started to think what is going on here.
It was time for us to confront Amy to see what in the world was happening. We decided to wait until Ben, her brother, was not home as we wanted to have a good talk to Amy and thought it would be a more relaxed atmosphere if he was not there: what transpired was anything but relaxed.
Amy just did not want to talk she exploded, swearing and cursing me telling us that it is her life and if she wanted to diet she would. I said to her that she had no fat to lose she was just skin and bone. She pointed to her shoulders telling me am I blind, look at all the fat on her shoulder. I tried to point out that is the bone in your arm it is not fat. She yelled and screamed calling me an idiot and just wanted to leave her alone, slamming the door in my face.
I was in absolute shock. Tears were streaming down my face. What had just happened, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. John tried to open the door but it was locked he yelled for Amy to open the door and he wanted answers right now. All we got back was a tirade of abuse, he banged on the door but Amy just got worse and worse yelling and screaming, we could hear things being thrown, things smashing and Amy telling us to go away and let her be.
I called my doctor to talk to him; I needed answers to what was going on. He suggested that I come and see him and bring Amy if it was possible, so I made an appointment for the next day. When Amy claimed down I asked her if she wanted to go with me. She refused; saying why would she want to go to see a doctor, there is nothing wrong with her. I wanted to say something but the events of that morning stopped me; I did not want a repeat performance until I at least knew what it is I was dealing with.
I attended the appointment with Dr Thomson explaining what had happened. He asked me a number of questions about Amy and then told me he was sure that she had an Eating Disorder and it was probably Anorexia.
Well! I nearly fell of my chair; I just could not understand how in the world this had happened to Amy. I knew absolutely nothing about anorexia, except what a had read about movie stars who supposedly had all these kinds of problems through the stress of keeping thin for their careers, but Amy was only a little girl. She didn’t have these kind of pressures how could she have anorexia?
Dr Thomson told me what he could and recommended we try and get Amy to see a councilor as soon as we could. He told me people die because of anorexia, it is a psychological problem not an eating one. That the eating is a symptom of a bigger problem and we have to get to the bottom of the problem to fix it. There is nothing he could prescribe only getting her to a councilor was her only chance, or she probably would die.
I sat there completely dumb founded, my little girl could die. I didn’t know what to say my heart was in my mouth, tears were flowing down my face, I was shaking and all colour had drained out of my face. I could see the concern on the doctors’ eyes and he told me just to relax for a moment. She was only 14 how could she die? I went to see the doctor thinking he would tell me it was just a normal teenage thing and not to worry as she would grow out of it: not to be told my baby could die.
We did get Amy to see a councilor a very good one for this kind of problem. For the next 2 years we battled Amy’s devils and we thought we were starting to get on top of things. It was during these sessions that we found out that Amy had taken the death of her grandmother extremely badly and had bottled up all the emotions. Also that missing out on the dance performance coming on top of all the bad emotions was a major turning point in Amy’s life. To us it was a mole hill; to Amy it was Mt Everest.
During the next 2 years I read and studied everything I could find on anorexia and it was during this time I started to think about the secret I was to put into action a little bit later, which was to change everything.
Amy seemed to be hanging in there with the problem and although she did not start to have significant weight gain she did improve, or seem to improve may be a better way of saying things. After about 15 months Amy all of a sudden started to eat more, we were overjoyed. She would even eat more than her brother sometimes and he was a big eater. We thought at last we were getting on top of this thing and even though she did not put on weight we were not that concerned. We simply thought that after nearly 4 years of virtual starvation it would take the body a little while to revert to normal metabolism.
We never even noticed that Amy had started to binge eat and then purge herself, not only after dinner but after every meal. I was well aware that this could happen and I did keep an eye out but Amy was very cunning and sneaky, going to the bathroom down stairs in the pool area where she knew no one would go. Of course we didn’t find out until it was too late.
It was August 24th 1999 we had to go away for 3 weeks on business. We received a phone call from my sister Betty who was staying looking after the house and kids. She said that Amy had collapsed at home and was in hospital and we better get back as things are not looking good.
Well! I totally panicked, I had promised myself that no way was I going to let Amy die and now there was a strong possibility that it just may happen.
The recriminations started to come thick and fast in my head, why did I go away, why didn’t I see what was happening, it is all my fault, what a bad mother I am, I was worried sick.
We got to the hospital 12 hours later catching the first plane out we could get. Amy was on a drip and looked very ill, my heart fell, I was so worried this was the worst I have ever seen Amy looked and I feared of going to lose her. Amy was in and out of conciseness, I just sat there and prayed to God that he let her live.
The doctors told me her potassium level was 1.9 very low: low enough in fact that her heart could stop beating. This was the worst time in my life, to sit there and think you are about to lose a child is the most emotional traumatic thing you can go through, and my heart goes out to all those who have sat in my position.
Amy pulled through I believe with the help of God.
Later I found out that Amy was vomiting up to 15 times a day over the 3 weeks while we were gone and her system just reacted to the abuse and she collapsed.
Although this was a very traumatic time for me and all the family, it did have one very positive outcome. I formulated the secret that was about to change everything for us and more importantly Amy. It is not a quick fix but with dedication, love and hope, I believe, it will work for everyone.
More about Amy on http://www.mom-please-help.com
Dr Irina Webster is the Director of Women Health Issues Program which covers different areas of Women Health.
Dr Irina Webster has a wholistic approach to medicine and her favorite area is to discover natural treatments for Women health problems and share these treatments and methods with other people.
Dr Irina Webster believes that the majority of women health problems can be treated naturally without drugs or surgical treatment.
Dr Irina Webster started her medical career in 1987 after graduating from high school with distinctions. She then enrolled in the Medical University of Archangelsk situated in North Russia, graduating in 1993. Irina then started her internship at The Komi Republic Children’s Hospital 1993 to 1994 where she studied to become a Pediatrician.
Then she did a lot of courses to specialise in Women Health.
In year 2001 Irina migrated to Australia. There she has been working as a medical doctor in women health area for 3.5 years. At present she does Eating Disorder natural treatment research.
Losing 300+ pounds…his passion for no child to live as he did!
Tollie, who lived his life as “the fat kid” and dealt with his self-inflicted circumstances in a self-destructive way, ballooned to over 500 pounds by the age of 24.
The pothole-ridden first few chapters of Tollie’s life are viewed by most people as nothing short of inspiring, as seen in various national publications.
More about Tollie
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Losing 300+ pounds…his passion for no child to live as he did!
Tollie, who lived his life as “the fat kid” and dealt with his self-inflicted circumstances in a self-destructive way, ballooned to over 500 pounds by the age of 24.
The pothole-ridden first few chapters of Tollie’s life are viewed by most people as nothing short of inspiring, as seen in various national publications.
