Today, while I was working on some production I received an email about a comment left on one of my sites. Of course the comment came from “anonymous” and it was someone who knew me from my past. The comment was rather harsh and very colorful as far as how they feel about me. Im a strong believer that you should never apologize for your feelings.
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Everyone around me saw the comment and were kind of shocked. One of the actresses was asking me how I was not letting it bother me. She could not understand how I wasn’t upset over the really nasty things that were expressed. I took the opportunity to share some important truths she needed to know. Now, this actress does not know me, we have only just met. I explained that anything said about you or feelings about you can only affect you if you allow them to do so.
I also, said in the line of work you are persuing this is crucial to understand. You see all the shows and tabloids dedicated to trashing celebrities. Why? Because we live in a society where people of stature or noteriety are public game. Many in our society are just down right not happy. They love the gossip, really they want to see others in worse shape then they are. If others are torn down and ridiculed it some how makes them feel better. It’s like Eleanor Roosevelt Said:
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”
I reminded her that yes, these comments were harsh. However, the “anonymous” author is much like society is today, sit back and don’t put youself out there because it is much safer. When you site back it’s easier to judge and damn, when you don’t have to worry about putting yourself in the situation and giving your best.
I accept the fact in my line of work there will be criticism, I will make mistakes. My choice is do I just give up or grow from mistakes and continue to make a difference. Do I give “value” to these comments and let it affect my mindset and feel bad for myself and in return shift my attention to make someone else feel worse? No!
I felt the need to really show the young actress something I felt would make an impact. I halted all our plans and piled everyone into my truck and drove downtown. There was a homeless lady on the side of the road so I stopped and we got out. I gave her all the cash I had on me. Then I asked her, “Bother way, do you care that some people think I’m a freak?” She looked at me stunned, then she said something that made a massive impact on me, she said, “No, because everyone else drive and walks by, you saw me, and helped, Bless You!”
We piled back in the truck to go back into work, and I looked at the actress and said, “now let me ask you, If I would have got upset over someone’s harsh words, if I allowed myself to be in a negative “poor me” mindset, we I have been able to move forward and make one small difference today?”
Then quickly I said how this kind lady hurting and in a bad situation was right. I saw her, only because I “chose” to see her today. How many times I have drove by myself never even seeing anything but what was in front of me. How, many times I could stop and give just a little to make someone else smile.
Then the actress refused to take any money for the day. She said I gave her so much more, and couldn’t wait to continue working on our new project and make a difference. So can words really hurt you? Yes, however just know they are hurting you because you have given the words permission to make you feel bad. However, you can realize the only affect anyone has over you and your ability to have a great day is how much you allow them to.
The last thing I said to her before she left for the day is what I want to leave with you. “If you died tomorrow what decisions would you make today, what would matter? Today, I chose to not allow harsh words to affect me negatively, instead I used the situation and saw a homeless lady in need and helped her. I saw a you allow more space for a new kind of love and compassion in your heart. So, if I died tomorrow, does anything that people choose to feel about me matter at all? Did my choice to see the lady on the side of the road make a difference? ” Because if I died tomorrow, my choice to only see good resulted in good, my choice to only love resulted in pure love. Next time you are mentally allowing others, or rumors, or gossip affect you, think how much happiness and love you are missing out on. Realize, if small minds are talking about you, raise your conscious mind and dream, dreams are love, passion, and infinite possibilities.