Your teen just received or gave out a card on Valentine’s Day. The other person involved, is a school mate she fancies and would really love to go out with – a potential date. With all the dangers out there in the world today, you have dreaded the time when your teen will ask to go out with another teen on a date. Yet, it cannot be avoided. So how do you handle the situation so that teenager dating advice is effective and helpful?
Now, when it comes to Teen Dating Advice I have a set of video’s I always recommend. Most parents do the raising of the eyebrows when I suggest them. Well they make you laugh your butt off together, and if these absolutely horrific and embarrassing situations won’t make you think twice before rushing things, I don’t know what will. Tollie’s Ultimate Teen Dating Video’s
1. Communicate clearly to your teen the age at which she may begin dating. This will depend on the maturity of your teen. Most parents will allow only group dates before age sixteen. A lot depends on how responsible your teen is and how capable she is of taking control in a difficult situation.
2. Know who your teen hangs out with and meet their parents if possible. Find out what they like to do together and where they like to go. The safety of your teen could also depend on who she is out with. If you are not sure of the maturity level of her date or you cannot trust his judgment, then do not entrust your teen’s life into his hands. Use every opportunity you have to find out as much as you can about the date, and engage him in conversation. That way, you will know him better and will be in a position to make an informed decision as to whether your teen should even date this person. Many an innocent teen has been dragged into sticky and difficult situations.
3. Establish firmly, the rules for both your teen and her date. Ensure that her date is being held to the same values, otherwise, not only will there be conflicts between them but your teen may find herself forever compromising the values you have dutifully, responsibly and lovingly imparted to her. Destinations are to be communicated to you, a curfew is to be observed and certain activities are not to be engaged in – sex, alcohol, drugs, violence or car racing, to name only a few. The consequences of breaking these rules should also be made clear and followed through should it become necessary.
4. Equip your teen with life coping skills so that she may be able to avoid potentially dangerous situations. Ensure that your teen has self worth and respect and will walk away from a date, should the date exhibit any form of violence. Disagreements can lead to loss of self control. Remind your teen that not all victims are fortunate enough to walk away alive and many of those who do, often end up scarred permanently either physically or emotionally or both.
5. Insist on decent clothing and dressing always. Provocative dressing not only speaks badly of the teen wearing them but can also send out the wrong message. Certain types of clothing and jewelry communicate certain messages and may give out signals inviting trouble. Be informed. Being able to interpret your teen’s motives and that of her friends will give you a better picture of what is going on in their lives. By refusing to purchase revealing clothing, you eliminate to a large extent the temptation for her to wear them. Watch out for purses and bags that may contain inappropriate clothing to be changed into once your teen is out of sight. It is also possible for her to borrow clothes she knows you will not allow in your house from friends along the way. Explain to her why it is important to be always decently dressed. Hopefully if she knows and understands, then she will not be tempted.
6. Discuss candidly with your teen, the dangers that lurk out there such as date rape drugs. Drinks, food and rides should not be accepted from strangers. Teen girls especially should avoid being alone in the company of several teen boys, especially boys she does not know, and boys who have been drinking or smoking. Ideally your teen, should not even be in the company of others who have been drinking, smoking or doing drugs. Caution your teen about mob action. Many a time otherwise responsible teens have been dragged into senseless behaviors. At all times, common sense should prevail and peer pressure should not rule the day.
7. Ensure that you and your teen can communicate at all times. Texting, in addition to phone calls does come in handy. Research and find out what technology is available that can help you track your teen down should that become necessary. Explain to your teen that this is not to snoop on them but to be able to help them in emergencies.
8. Imbue your teen with etiquette. Teach your teen sons to open doors for the ladies, etc. Each teen is to be respectful not only of the other but of the other’s family. Two mothers looked at each other in utter disbelief, when teen girls on their way to the school prom arrived at the house of one of the teen boys and did not even greet the parents of the boy who were with him waiting for the entire group to arrive! And at no time during the forty minute wait for the limo to arrive was a word said to the parents!
Teenager dating advice should be ongoing. When it is ingrained in your teen and becomes part and parcel of his or her fabric, your teen is unlikely to stray from the path. Remind often without nagging, all the precautions your teen has to take in order to be safe. Make your teen aware that following the crowd can lead nowhere. Permitting your teen to date is a part of letting go which no doubt can be very frightening. After you have done your homework and are confident that you have equipped your teen with all the information she needs, let your teen know that you are counting on her to act responsibly. Then make an effort not to stress yourself out or worry. Remember to listen to your teen. Not only will you learn so much of what is out there but your teen in knowing that her feelings and opinion matter to you, will take to heart the guidance you give him or her.
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